No Boners, No Sex
by HormonalHarry
Summary: A crossover between Twilight and Jaws. If you're Team Edward, you won't like this story. If you're Team Jacob, you won't like this story.


"No boners, No sex"

A Twilight/Jaws crossover

A seemingly empty ocean, stretching for miles and miles, until all you can see is water. Bella couldn't believe that Edward had taken her out here, it's not like she hated the water, but she wasn't a vampire. Edward had only realized that he had forgotten to bring much human food once they got to the tiny island. He'd left on the boat, and said he'd be back in a couple of days…it had been a week. The island was just big enough that there were enough trees and plants to where Bella could fashion a fishing pole, and a makeshift net. She'd barely caught anything, but small fish were better than nothing.

She had grown out of her anger at Edward, she just wanted to see him again. She was worried something had happened to him at first, but then she realized she would have felt something.

It had been over a month, and she had grown used to surviving. One day some wreckage had washed up on the beach, it only took her a moment to realize it was the boat Edward had left on, his wedding ring was sitting on the bow. She mourned him, but soon went back to focusing on survival. Something terrible had to have happened for the boat to be wrecked like that, and she could've sworn she saw large tooth-marks on the wood.

It was the middle of the night, Bella had made herself comfortable in her new home. She'd made a small shelter, and a bed out of leaves and sand, making a semi-soft pad. The sound of the waves began to lull her to sleep, but she soon heard something quite strange. An even _Splash…splash…splash_ could be heard, as if someone was walking in the surf. She sat up, looking in the direction of the noise, but her shelter was situated just so she couldn't see whatever it was.

"…Edward?" she asked, hope in her voice.

The sound stopped, if only for a moment, and then continued. It got louder and louder, until it sounded like whatever it was was right outside her shelter. She grabbed the wooden stake she had made, more of a pole really, and she aimed it at the entrance. A figure walked in front of the small opening, and though she couldn't see their face, she could see the moon reflecting off their body and sparkling. The shape even _looked_ like him.

" _Edward_ " she gasped, crying a little, dropping her pole and rushing up to him. She embraced him, crying, and he slowly put his arms around her. She was crying so fiercely, it took her a moment to realize that he was wet. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was almost… _slimy_. He gripped her hard, lifting her up off of her feet.

"Edward?" she asked, fear in her eyes.

He gripped her tightly, and moved backwards, so his face was in the moonlight, and she gasped.

"What…"

He spoke with a gravelly voice, one she thought fitted rather well, since this thing could not be Edward. At least, not anymore. "Edward…that name…your mate, yes?"

She nodded, trying to wrestle herself out of his grip, but he was too strong. She looked up at him, his full black eyes contrasting against his light grey skin and pale white belly.

" _He looks like a great white…but he's human_!"

the thing grinned, "He is dead. I ate him, 2 years ago now. I've been searching for you since, I could smell you on him." He sniffed, and moaned lightly, "Yes. You are the one who is going to be my mate."

She was terrified. He brought her inside, and set her down on the bed, kicking her pole outside. "your…mate? But Edward is my mate, he was my true love."

He laughed, "I pity you, my love. If he had truly been your soulmate, you would have known he was dead long ago." He lifted up his fingers into the light, "I took on his form, hoping it would put you at ease."

He got down on one knee, and looked into her eyes, "Do you wish me to change this?"

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that he wasn't as bad as she thought. Sure, he'd killed Edward, but he was right, she would have felt it if she truly loved him. He hadn't hurt her yet, either.

"…no," she said, sitting up further against the wall, "You scare me, in any form you take. You killed Edward."

He grinned, "I'm a shark, love, It's how I survive. Besides I only kill supernatural creatures, like your ex-mate."

She pointed outside, "Still, go away. I don't want you, you hurt me by killing him."

He sighed, and got up. "I'll be here, until you change your mind," he said, going outside and disappearing into the night.

It had been over a month since Eddy (for that's what she had taken to calling him, much to his chagrin) first appeared. Though she still made him keep his distance most of the time, they were starting to become friends, and she felt her heart flutter every time she looked at him.

One day, he was out swimming, and she was watching from the rocks. Whenever he entered the water he changed back into shark form, and she thought it was graceful how he swam around the island.

All of a sudden, he got out of the water, changing forms and walking towards her. It was only then she realized that the sun was beginning to set.

"Jeez," she thought to herself, "I've been sitting here for hours."

"Bella?" he asked.

"Yes, eddy?"

he snarled, "You know I hate that, my name is Jaws"

she laughed, and he could never stay mad at her for long. He began to laugh as well, and soon they walked side by side back to bella's shelter. She stood there for a moment, thinking, and turned towards him.

"Jaws…Any other name?"

He sighed, "My parents called me james, but most people know me as jaws."

She smiled, "James, then. Would you like to spend the night with me?"

He looked up into her eyes, hope in his face. She had never seen somebody so beautiful, even Edward. The grace with which he moved through the water, and the way light reflected off his toned skin, in either form, made him the most beautiful man she knew.

She held up a finger against his lips, "No boners, no sex. Just sleeping."

He nodded, and followed her inside. That night, they both had the best dreams of their lives, one with each other, and little children running around, and a beautiful house on this deserted little island.

Bella sighed in her sleep, and thought to herself, "I'm the luckiest girl alive."

The end


End file.
